I am Citizen Ted.
I live among the mist-shrouded forests of the Pacific Northwest, here in the New World. As your most humble servant, I endeavor to give satisfaction. You may find me coarse or even alarming, but I daresay you shan’t find me boring.
That’s all I can promise.
For now.
If you wish to email me directly, you must solve a puzzle: citizentedDROPatTHISgmailTEXTdotcom.
Good Fudgie!! Though I have to say, Steve almost compares to her goodness, except he hasn’t learned not to bite me when he’s curling up to me while I read. He doesn’t bite hard, but it’s hard enough to piss me off. So every once in a while I put him through a 2 week Rapid Detox – during this period I don’t give him any “eh-eh, no biting” warnings. Instead I let him do his thing and the moment his teeth apply pressure to my skin I immediately throw him (sometimes a bit harder than I mean to) off of me. We do this for 2 weeks and he’s cured for about 8 months. Other than that, Steve and Fudgie are both the best kitties (though Fudgie definitely takes the cake on hunting!)
I claim all website that touches this comment for Spain.
Dammit Ted. Please take back the Dead Pool.
Great stuff Ted…You’re out of control!
are you the Ted with all the old time VW trashing Lorne Baily folklore? Would love to here some of those old yarns. Let em fly Ted!
Dear gods. I hadn’t heard tell of you in years until I stumbled across you in Fark commentary. I’ve kept up with Wes Payne — hell, he was at my wedding (2nd edition) — and Vomit Boy maintains a blog on LiveJournal. I think even Wes had lost touch.
Glad to hear you’re alive, well and single.
Jessica Allan Schmidt (divorcée Lavarnway)
“Every woman should marry … and no man.” — Benjamin Disraeli
Thanks for all the kind words. And yes: the Lorne Chronicles will appear here. I just want to edit them. My grammar nazism has grown quite sharp, so each story must be combed and primped prior to public posting. Bottom line: check back regularly for surprises!
Good Lord, Teddy, I’ve found you.
Ah, so there *is* life after A.T! Many thanks for the waybacks
Good to see, Teddy….
Looking forward to more Lorne and NJ stuff. I printed out some of your posts to AT aaand ADFP and gave them to my nonconnected auto mechanic, a refugee from NJ. He didn’t laugh but said he got a warm feeling, just as if he had taken a trip back home. (We’re across the Sound from you in Port Townsend.)
Anyone seen Spam Princess? I have to admit it. She made my pants tent.
Wow, look at all the a.t. alums commenting here! Good to see you all.
http://jblaque.livejournal.com/904855.html
Damn, been a long time – good to see you are still around though, mate. Pointed here from an LJ post of Mr. Blaque’s.
Good to see you still on form, o’chap. It has been a while indeed.
Damnnnn — looks like somebody got all sexed up with the K2 frame! Now that you’ve covered the tech-10, I’m still eager to hear of the surest signs of impending apocalypse. Will pre-packaged peanutbutter and jelly slices make the list? Skirt/jeans? Whoopie Goldberg’s “leakage” ad campaign? Do tell.
I do think pre-sliced peanut butter is a sign of End Days. I mean, if you can’t shovel peanut butter out of a jar onto some bread, how can you be relied upon to defy Satan and all his works? Skirt/jeans may seem troubling, but they may be the only way to integrate Muslim women into the American dating pool, so I approve. As for Whoopie Goldberg’s “leakage”? I barf’d.
I could weep, after reading the comments and seeing all the names from the Glory Days of A.T.
I was but a humble lurker, but I remember.
Hey Ted,
you and I have exchanged words over at alt.tasteless back in the early 2000s. I have no idea what handle I used back then. You were giving me a kind word of advice about how one of the psychos whose chain I was yanking was the real deal and would don adult diapers, drive across the Atlantic and rip my throat out with their spork. I also forget who the mentalist in question was.
Anyway, I was at the Fark party in Amsterdam where Drew showed up at, this year. I was surprised to realise that he’d not heard of Usenet and naturally didn’t realise that a number of people had come over from alt.tasteless to hang out at fark.com
Now I read that you live in the U.K. ? WTF :-D Or did I read that wrong ?
I will trawl your blog a little more to get deeper into your thoughts on that particular topic.
Cheers,
Jenny
I remember you! No, I don’t live in England. I’ve just visited a few times.