Yr Hmbl Svnt

I am Citizen Ted.

I live among the mist-shrouded forests of the Pacific Northwest, here in the New World. As your most humble servant, I endeavor to give satisfaction. You may find me coarse or even alarming, but I daresay you shan’t find me boring.

That’s all I can promise.

For now.

If you wish to email me directly, you must solve a puzzle: citizentedDROPatTHISgmailTEXTdotcom.

19 Responses to Yr Hmbl Svnt

  1. Jenny Sue says:

    Good Fudgie!! Though I have to say, Steve almost compares to her goodness, except he hasn’t learned not to bite me when he’s curling up to me while I read. He doesn’t bite hard, but it’s hard enough to piss me off. So every once in a while I put him through a 2 week Rapid Detox – during this period I don’t give him any “eh-eh, no biting” warnings. Instead I let him do his thing and the moment his teeth apply pressure to my skin I immediately throw him (sometimes a bit harder than I mean to) off of me. We do this for 2 weeks and he’s cured for about 8 months. Other than that, Steve and Fudgie are both the best kitties (though Fudgie definitely takes the cake on hunting!)

  2. PussInBoots says:

    I claim all website that touches this comment for Spain.

  3. Bill says:

    Dammit Ted. Please take back the Dead Pool.

  4. Ethan says:

    Great stuff Ted…You’re out of control!

  5. we bolk says:

    are you the Ted with all the old time VW trashing Lorne Baily folklore? Would love to here some of those old yarns. Let em fly Ted!

  6. Dear gods. I hadn’t heard tell of you in years until I stumbled across you in Fark commentary. I’ve kept up with Wes Payne — hell, he was at my wedding (2nd edition) — and Vomit Boy maintains a blog on LiveJournal. I think even Wes had lost touch.

    Glad to hear you’re alive, well and single.

    Jessica Allan Schmidt (divorcée Lavarnway)
    “Every woman should marry … and no man.” — Benjamin Disraeli

  7. admin says:

    Thanks for all the kind words. And yes: the Lorne Chronicles will appear here. I just want to edit them. My grammar nazism has grown quite sharp, so each story must be combed and primped prior to public posting. Bottom line: check back regularly for surprises!

  8. Nurzy says:

    Good Lord, Teddy, I’ve found you.

  9. glubdammit says:

    Ah, so there *is* life after A.T! Many thanks for the waybacks

  10. raoul says:

    Good to see, Teddy….

    Looking forward to more Lorne and NJ stuff. I printed out some of your posts to AT aaand ADFP and gave them to my nonconnected auto mechanic, a refugee from NJ. He didn’t laugh but said he got a warm feeling, just as if he had taken a trip back home. (We’re across the Sound from you in Port Townsend.)

    Anyone seen Spam Princess? I have to admit it. She made my pants tent.

  11. schwag says:

    Wow, look at all the a.t. alums commenting here! Good to see you all.

  12. LINCARD1000 says:

    Damn, been a long time – good to see you are still around though, mate. Pointed here from an LJ post of Mr. Blaque’s.

  13. Hys Grace the Duke says:

    Good to see you still on form, o’chap. It has been a while indeed.

  14. Pixiemeat (a.k.a. Alexander von Dorken) says:

    Damnnnn — looks like somebody got all sexed up with the K2 frame! Now that you’ve covered the tech-10, I’m still eager to hear of the surest signs of impending apocalypse. Will pre-packaged peanutbutter and jelly slices make the list? Skirt/jeans? Whoopie Goldberg’s “leakage” ad campaign? Do tell.

  15. Citizen Ted says:

    I do think pre-sliced peanut butter is a sign of End Days. I mean, if you can’t shovel peanut butter out of a jar onto some bread, how can you be relied upon to defy Satan and all his works? Skirt/jeans may seem troubling, but they may be the only way to integrate Muslim women into the American dating pool, so I approve. As for Whoopie Goldberg’s “leakage”? I barf’d.

  16. Rompinhell says:

    I could weep, after reading the comments and seeing all the names from the Glory Days of A.T.

    I was but a humble lurker, but I remember.

  17. Jenny Talia says:

    Hey Ted,

    you and I have exchanged words over at alt.tasteless back in the early 2000s. I have no idea what handle I used back then. You were giving me a kind word of advice about how one of the psychos whose chain I was yanking was the real deal and would don adult diapers, drive across the Atlantic and rip my throat out with their spork. I also forget who the mentalist in question was.

    Anyway, I was at the Fark party in Amsterdam where Drew showed up at, this year. I was surprised to realise that he’d not heard of Usenet and naturally didn’t realise that a number of people had come over from alt.tasteless to hang out at fark.com

    Now I read that you live in the U.K. ? WTF :-D Or did I read that wrong ?
    I will trawl your blog a little more to get deeper into your thoughts on that particular topic.



  18. Citizen Ted says:

    I remember you! No, I don’t live in England. I’ve just visited a few times.

Comments are closed.