Own It, Scumbags

In case you haven’t noticed, the US economy is imploding. The housing bubble burst and spread goo all over everybody. The Stock Exchange is in the shitter and roiling about like a dozen weasels in a shopping bag. Unemployment is skyrocketing. The temporary saving graces of low inflation and oil prices are the only things keeping the US from degenerating into The Lord of the Flies.

Here in the USA, we don’t really do anything to solve a problem until the finger of blame has been fully wagged. Since the cause(s) of the implosion are manifold, it’s hard to point at one particular person or institution. But if you had to pick one, it would be the Republican party and the Bush administration.

Why? Because they were at the helm, and because they have been fucking up every other thing they touch. Idiots wanting to live in a giant McMansion on a bus driver’s salary are partly to blame. But these bus drivers were enabled by a real estate industry that operated under the delusion that a Republican America is an America that never falters in business. As long as Bush is in charge, we cannot fail. Ever upward! Deny this and you’re a liberal commie!

Alas, it was Bush’s appointed regulators that turned a blind eye when large investment firms asked that their radioactive mortgage chunks be given an AA rating. If someone had put their foot down, the housing crisis would have been averted years ago.  But Republicans don’t like to limit or regulate massive, greedy corporations. They prefer the wink-wink approach to oversight. If you criticize this approach, you are branded a communist and a terrorist.

And days after calling you a communist, they approve a trillion dollar government bailout for these investment firms. OK, Trotsky. Real good governing there.You idiots fucked up. Big time. Own it.

And the Big 3 automakers? If they need $32 billion, they should ask THIS fucking guy:

Not only does he have an extra $32 billion laying around, he also happens to be the guy the Big 3 have been in bed with for 80 fucking years! ClueBat: the US taxpayers owe the Big 3 nothing. They ignored us, they built us shitty cars and they fought efficiency tooth and nail. So fuck off. Go see fatty if you want some cash. You screwed up. Own it.

There’s plenty of in-depth analyses on the subject of the meltdown. Feel free to peruse them. So far, one of the best (on the subprime fiasco) is this one:


Rarely in the annals of the Internet have so few stick figures made so much sense on so weighty a subject.

Time to double-check my dying retirement fund…

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