Monthly Archive for May, 2011

Nihilists for the GOP


Welcome to PAC to end all PACs!

Nihilists for the GOP (NGOP) is working hard to support the extreme right wing of American politics. We will not stand for half-measures; we are completely dedicated to the swift, immediate institution of every policy championed by the most extreme elements of the right-wing lunatic fringe.

Herpa-derpa-doo!

Now, some of you may say, “Are you out of your fucking mind? These people are crazy and their politics are wacked!”

Well, maybe we are crazy. Crazy like foxes!

Let’s face some hard political reality here: the right wing in the United States has sent us teetering on the brink of disaster time and time again. Too often, we are pulled back from the brink by rational thinkers.

These efforts to rein in the crazy train do little more than cause America’s downward spiral to slow down a little bit. I don’t know about you, but if I’m going to drown, I’d rather it be done quickly than drag on forever.

We have another solution: total immersion.

That’s why we’ve formed the NGOP.

Our primary goal is to hasten the catastrophic collapse of the United States. By giving the reins of power to the most incompetent and deluded candidates, we foresee a speedy failure of the economy, an orgy of war and destruction and the utter demolition of public life.

Out of this abyss will arise a New America. An America humbled and determined to forge a new path.

I'm Rick Santorum and I love the NGOP!

We cite historical precedents:

– Germany. After WWI, she hemmed and hawed under a Weimar government while communists and fascists jockeyed for power. It wasn’t until the rise of the Nazis and the bloody aftermath that she was quickly brought low. What emerged was the most powerful and peaceful democratic government in European history.

– Japan. After thousands of years of tumult, a corporate/military bully-state emerged. Like Germany, she quickly devolved into a monster and was soon shattered in a hail of nuclear fire. Within a decade, she emerged as the most powerful and peaceful democratic nation in Asia.

– The USSR. After 70 years of brutal Soviet control, the corruption and lies reached a crescendo. Tiny chinks in the Party armor became gushing torrents of public unrest as ultra-conservative Party members staged an idiotic coup. While comparatively bloodless, the collapse of the Soviet Union shows how a few bad men in the right places can lead a nation to utter failure and subsequent rebirth.

The poet Peter Sinfield wrote, “To mount up high you first must sink down low.”

The NGOP is determined to see America brought low so we may one day mount up high.

But to do this, we need your help.

Here’s what you can do:

– Support only the dumbest, most deluded right-wing fringe candidates.
– Volunteer for their campaigns and/or donate generously to them.
– Join Free Republic and Stormfront. Post often. And loudly.
– Convince your friends and neighbors to support the most extreme right wing candidates and policies.
– Belittle and discourage any rational policies or candidates.
– Wave the flag. Mindless nationalism is key to hastening the utter collapse of society.
Give generously to the NGOP!

We hope you can join us.

Together, we can make it happen.

No one can guarantee success. But we can guarantee failure. And right now, we need failure and we need it fast.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but the NGOP seeks support from all shades of the political spectrum. We want left-wing college professors, concerned stay-at-home Moms and no-nonsense blue collar Joes to stand as one. We want them to work together and orchestrate the final destruction of the United States. We need them to vote for Tea Party/Heritage/PNAC Republicans. We need them to donate to the NGOP.

Onward, Christian Soldiers! Once more, into the breach!

Without ashes, there can be no Phoenix!

All donations for the NGOP can be made c/o this website. Thank you.